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I realize now that it was never me you wanted, just a relationship, someone to be there, some security. And there I was. It seemed perfect to you. At times, it even seemed perfect to me. But after being lied to so many times I've gotten to the point where nothing matters anymore. So go ahead and say it's easy to walk away, because I don't believe it for a second. You will never find any one like me. Trust me, I'm not that easy to get over.
"It was like the last time and the first time rolled into one. We screamed and scratched and loved each other like it was the last chance we ever would. Like we would never let go. We explored every inch of each other and marked it as our own. We whispered of how we loved each other, how we would be together. We fell asleep in each other's arms, an intricate mess of limbs. Time was nothing. We were only seventeen and we had what some people never find at all. Love. The kind of love that makes you reach out for each other as you sleep. The kind of love that runs hot and cold because everyday you see that person in a new way. It's the kind of love that you know will hurt you in the end but you still want it. Because what's better than love?"
"You listen to me. I've been alive a bit longer than you. And dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine. And done things I prefer you didn't. Don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood, which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain. So I make a lot of mistakes. A lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred-plus years. And there's only one thing I've ever been sure of. You. Hey, look at me. I'm not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it's not because I want you. Or because I can't have you. It has nothin' to do with me. I love what you are. What you do. How you try. I've seen your kindness, and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand, with perfect clarity, exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the one."
There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone, in fact I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape, but even after admitting this there is no catharsis, my punishment continues to elude me and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself; no new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing.
"If this continues, you will be dead. And I'm not talking about the 'Oh, my God, if I don't get invited to the prom, I'm going to die' type of dead, I'm talking *dead*, dead. Is that clear enough for you? Because if it's not, I could of course text you on my Blackberry or my Blueberry or my Chuck Berry... although technically Chuck Berry is a blackberry... the point is, you gotta stop wasting everyone's time and grow up. Is that clear to you, sweetheart?"
First off, let me just say, thank you. For the last couple of months I have been adrift in a sea of puppy dogs, lollipops, and lets face it, mediocre metaphors. Luckily, you people were kind enough to piss all over learning a procedure that could determine whether some poor sucker lives or dies, and that reminded me of something that I wanted to remind you of. Because, you see, I am accountable. I am accountable for the continuous, crashing, undeniable amateurism that you people drag into this hospital day in and day out. And believe you me when I tell you that the next time one of you perpetual disappointments doesn't even have the common decency to try and do better at something you supposedly do, I will go ahead and toss your sorry ass outta here in about ten seconds and then I will forget you forever in the next five.
You got lost for a while. You've been trying to find a smile. You got stood up, then you fell down, and when you needed, there was no one around. You loved the previews and hate the movie. You scream at the screen, "Something move me," before you start to fade away.
Relationships don't work they way they do on television and in the movies. Will they? Won't they? And then they finally do, and they're happy forever. Gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones who get married get divorced anyway, and I'm telling you right now, through all this stuff I have not become a cynic. I haven't. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate covered candies and, y'know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don't care, because I do believe in it. Bottom line: it's couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don't let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it's right, and they're real lucky, one of them will say something."
"But in the end, the most important thing to accept is that no matter how alone you feel, how painful it may be, with the help of those around you, you'll get through this too."
"Every one of our parents does considerable emotional damage, and from what I've heard, it just might be the best part of being a parent. Now, if some guy ever does put a ring on your finger and you're lucky enough to pop out a youngster, I'm sure you'll understand. But for now, believe me when I tell you I wouldn't care if this was the first time you ever met your daddy. Because, in reality...well, he could have done a much, much worse job."
"And bam! The shine's off the apple. And that's when you find out that that pretty little girl you married isn't a pretty little girl at all. No, she's a man-eater. And I'm not talking about the "whoa-whoa, here she comes" kind of man-eater. I'm talking about the kind that uses your dignity as a dishtowel to wipe up any shreds of manhood that might be stuck inside the sink. Of course, I may have tormented her from time to time; but, honest to God, that's what I thought marriage was all about. So much so that, by the end of that relationship, I honestly don't know who I hated more - her or me? I used to sit around and wonder... why our friends weren't trying to destroy each other, like we were. And here, it turns out, the answer's pretty simple: They weren't unhappy. We were."
"It's time. Sit down and listen up, Newbie. I suppose you want me to say you're great--that you've raised the bar for interns everywhere? Well, I'm not going to say that. You're doing okay. Someday you might even be better than that. But right now, all I see is a guy who's so preoccupied with wondering what everyone else thinks about him, that he doesn't have anytime to think whether or not he believes in himself. Did you ever wonder why I told you to write your own evaluation? I wanted you to think about yourself, and I mean really think! What are you good at? What do you suck at? And write it down. Not so I could read it, or anyone else could read it. But so you could read it! You see in the end, Newbie, you don't have to answer to me, or to Kelso, or even to your patients, for God's sake! The only one you have to answer to, Newbie, is you! There, you are evaluated. Now get out of here, because you truly make me so damn mad I might just hurt myself!"
Hope was a pathological part of puberty, like acne and surging hormones. You might sound cynical to the world, but that was just a defense mechanism, cover-up coating a zit, because it was too embarrassing to admit that in spite of the bum deals you kept getting, you hadn't completely given up.
There comes a point where you miss someone so much that you can hear their voice echo in your head.
And you can hear the names that they used to call you, the words they used to tell you.
You memorized their laugh, their smile, and their silly ways.
You can also feel their arms around you and you don't want to let go even though you know it's just an illusion. Everytime your phone rings, you smile because it's them that's calling.
Everytime you hear their name, your heart beats 100 times faster and sometimes, you can't even breathe.
You knew that looking back on the tears would make you laugh,
but you never knew that looking back on the laughs would also make you cry.
All you want is to go back in time. not to the time that you first met,
to the time that you were known as nothing, but strangers.
But no matter what, you're in denial. You hide your feeling so no one would know.
You put on a fake smile and don't let a single tear break through.
You're so used to hiding your feelings that you don't even realize the pain you're causing for yourself.
Your thoughts become invisible. It's still there, but no one knows.
Like a love letter you didn't show.
And you're hurting no one but yourself.
I think you’re one of those people who everyone falls in love with, even for a tiny bit. I have to remind myself that if you wanted to talk to me, you would.
For many years I walked that road, for many years I tried, so earnestly I sought the relationship advertised but my empty hands, my empty heart, could no longer be denied. Yeah I quit, I forfeit eternal life.
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   Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing. I try to stay as far from everyone as possible. I figure if they don’t want me then I don’t want them. --Dirty Liar I want to tell him there is nothing difficult about silence. Staying silent is better than conversation. Staying silent is better than telling the truth. Besides…they don’t really want to know what I feel. They don’t want to hear the truth because it upsets them. --Dirty Liar There are moments in your life that make you, that set the course of who you're gonna be. Sometimes they're little, subtle moments. Sometimes they're not. I'll show you what I mean. I do not care what car you drive, where you live. If you know someone who knows someone who knows someone. If your clothes are this year's cutting edge. If your trust fund is unlimited. If you are A-list or B-list or never-heard-of-you list. I only care about the words that flutter from your mind. They are the only thing you truly own. The only thing I will remember you by. I will not fall in love with your bones and skin. I will not fall in love with the places you have been. I will not fall in love with anything but the words that flutter from your extraordinary mind. I'll tell you this. People don't fall in love with what's right in front of them. People want the dream. What they can't have. The more unattainable, the more attractive. Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting. And though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us...guides us. Passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love, the clarity of hatred, and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd be truly dead.
Loneliness is about the scariest thing out there. When I say, "I love you," it`s not because I want you or because I can`t have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I`ve seen your kindness and your strength. I`ve seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You`re a hell of a woman. Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck. "Yes, that's right, they can't be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can... This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted... That doesn't work either, because what happens then is, the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with. Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say "No, no, no it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship," the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which you probably are. I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let's face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends." | | |
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Just be who you are, wait your turn, don't push. Be beautiful, be graceful. If you're going to get angry, be angry behind closed doors. Don't ever let them see you sweat. Just hold your head up no matter what, and don't ever let anyone stomp you out. 
I was lying in a burned out basement with the full moon in my eyes. I was hoping for replacement. When the sun burst through the sky. There was a band playing in my head, and I felt like getting high. 
I miss the sound of your voice. And I miss the rush of your skin. And I miss the still of the silence. As you breathe out and I breathe in. I miss the sound of your voice, loudest thing in my head. And I ache to remember all the violent, sweet perfect words that you said. I miss the pull of your heart. I taste the sparks on your tongue. I see angels and devils and God, when you come on. 
They say drugs are not the answer, but really, what is the question? 
The hardest things to say are the words that mean the most. So I'll bite my tongue till it bleeds and I doubt you'll even know. The easiest things to fake are feelings to fool someone else. 
There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave. You were what I wanted. I gave what I gave. I'm not sorry I met you. I'm not sorry it's over.I'm not sorry there's nothing to save. 
The basic thing nobody asks is why do people take drugs of any sort? Why do we have these accessories to
normal living to live? I mean, is there something wrong with society that's making us so pressurized, that we cannot live without guarding ourselves against it? 
But, you're chasin' the ghost of a good thing. Haunting yourself as the real thing. It's getting away from you again While you're chasin' ghosts. Just bend the pieces til they fit. Like they were made for it. But, they weren't meant for this. No, they weren't meant for this. 
Even if you think the flame has died, there's at least one lyric that'll hit that last hot spot, and then you'll find yourself as fucked as you were the day you lied and said you never wanted to see him again. 
Get me out of this place, before I cause more damage, a small price to pay for building houses out of matchsticks; and when things get too hot, you've got me to blame for, every fire that breaks out in every lover's name.
Can't seem to explain the speed of my heartbeat. Can't help but smile, can't help but stay for a while. I am so lost without you, why every time I run you're there. You end up right there behind me. We're not alone. It's not mine.
I have never felt this way before, you may be all I need in this world. I have never felt this sure before, you may be all I really need in this great big earth. 
This goes out to everyone who is sick and tired of being prosecuted for being different. This is more than just a song, more like a ballad for those who want to be free and this is about gathering together against the ones who said that you can't be whoever you want to be. So are you ready to stand up for yourself and show the world what you really think. Then raise your voice and let them know exactly who you are. 
"I keep thinking of how much I love talking to you. How good you look when you smile. How much I love your laugh. I daydream about you off and on, replaying pieces of our conversations; laughing at funny things that you said or did. I've memorized your face and the way that you look at mine. I catch myself smiling again at what I imagine. I wonder what will happen the next time we are together and even though neither of us know what the future holds, I know one thing for sure; you're the best thing that has ever happened to me." 
The hardest part about growing up is letting go of what you were used to, and moving on with something you're not. 
In the space between yes & no, there`s a lifetime. It`s the difference between the path you walk & the one you leave behind. It`s the gap between who you thought you could be & who you really are. It`s the leg room for the lies you`ll tell yourself in the future.
-Change of Heart 
& I didn`t care that I was supposed to be angry with him. & I didn`t care that I was supposed to be angry with everyone. I reached out for him, found his hands in the darkness, & pulled myself closer to him. His arms encircled me, cradling me to his chest. My lips searched, hunting along his throat, to his chin, till I finally found his lips.
-Stephanie Meyer - Eclipse 
Stay mad as long as you can because once you`re not mad anymore, it hurts. It hurts like hell & once it hurts that bad, you can`t make yourself mad anymore.
-Little Black Book 
That`s the kind of wisdom I`m talking about. Learning isn`t always enough, you know? I`ve seen some very unlovely, old faces that belonged with very well-stocked brains. There were the ones that lacked the other elements of wisdom - kindness, compassion, a sense of humor.
-Up a Road Slowly ; Irene Hunt 
You took your friendship away without even discussing it with me. So thank you very much for forgiving me, but I don`t forgive you.
-Beaches 
I don't hate him. I loved him until I figured out it hurts a lot less to just not care. You don't expect him to turn up to your sporting match. No disappointments. You don't expect a call on your birthday; Don't expect to see him for months. No disappointments. You want us to go make up? Sink a few beers together and a nice family hug? I've given him enough hugs and he's given me enough disappointments.
-House With him, life was routine. Without him, life was miserable.
-To Kill a Mockingbird 
I just want them to know that they didn't break me.
-Pretty In Pink 
We like to think we're fearless, eager to explore unknown lands and to soak up new experiences, but the fact is, we're always terrified. Maybe the terror is a part of the attraction. Some people go to horror movies. We cut things open. Dive into dark water. And at the end of the day, isn't that what you'd rather hear about? If you've got one drink and one friend and 45 minutes. Slow rides make for boring stories. A little calamity. Now that's worth talking about.
-Grey’s Anatomy 
I know that things between us are pretty much beyond repair right now and I wouldn't ever presume to try and make everything better with a conversation, so that's not what this is - but I just wanted to tell you, I wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the pain it caused you, but mostly, I'm sorry for my part in it, but mostly, I'm sorry because I miss our friendship and however far off it may be, I look forward to the day that we can be friends again.
-Dawson's Creek. 
Be careful, though, because if you start believing that bad things happen for a reason, it hurts that much more when they don't.
-Scrubs 
Everyone says that love hurts, but that's not true. Loneliness hurts. rejection hurts. losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality, love is the only thing in this world that covers up all the pain and makes someone feel wonderful again.
-Twilight 
I also wanted to remind you that even though sometimes my emotions, particularly jealousy sometimes get the best of me, I still hear you. No matter how much we yell, or no matter how quiet you are… I hear you. 
“ May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art — write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself." -Neil Gaiman 
" It's like he's driving in a car, okay and I just wanna be in the passenger seat,
but he's locked the door and I have to hold onto the bumper.
You know, I'm not even asking him to open the door for me, just leave it unlocked and let me come in.
But, no he didn't do that, so I'm hanging onto the bumper and life goes on and the car goes on
and I get really badly bruised and am hitting potholes and it hurts, I mean it really hurts.
And yesterday I had to let go of the bumper because it hurts too much ... it hurts too much." 
Although it is such a singular word, there are many variations of alone. There is the alone of an empty beach at twilight. There is the alone of an empty hotel room. There is the alone of bring caught in a throng of people. There is the alone of missing a particular person. And there is the alone of being with a particular person and realizing you're still alone. 
Your looking for love in all the wrong places, seeing empty faces, awkward situations. Everything you said was a lie, who are you pretending to be tonight. 
Everything's the same, everything went wrong, nothing to expect, and nothing to hold on. We don't know what will be, we don't know the past, I don't think we will see, we're not going to rest. 
Stick to what you know baby, it's not the end of the world just yet. When opportunity screams your name, you have only yourself to thank. It's every man for himself tonight, we're growing out of these old clothes. The other coast, it calls my name but I just want to stay at home. 
Stepping up. It's a simple concept. It basically means to rise above yourself. To do a little more. To show you something special. Something like this. Lucas is gone but that doesn't mean the season is over. As a matter of fact, I'd say it was just beginning. You might want to stay out of my way for awhile. Life's funny sometimes, it can push pretty hard. Like when you love someone, but they forget to love you back. Like when your best friend and your boyfriend leave you alone. Like when you pull the trigger or light the flame and you can't take it back. Like I said, in sports, they call this stepping up. In life, I call it pushing back. Every once in awhile people step up; they rise above themselves. Sometimes they surprise you. Sometimes they fall short. Life is funny sometimes, it can push pretty hard. But if you look close enough, you find hope. In the words of children, in the bars of a song, and in the eyes of someone you love. And if youre lucky, I mean if you're the luckiest person on this entire planet, the person you love decides to love you back. 
I'm not broken - only slightly damaged. Self-inflicted - I would
never give you that victory. I am bitter and I am hurt and I am
ready to move on from this. The process is slow and agonizing,
but such is life and so I deal. 
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| So, it's been forever.
Please enjoy:) 
Go, go, go, believe. It's everything you need. Take everything for granted, distorting every memory when you take them as your own 'cause you like it when you know just what I'm thinking. 
And the wheels just keep on turning, the drummer begins to drum. I don’t know which way I’m going, I don’t know which way I’ve come. Hold my head inside your hands, I need someone who understands. I need someone, someone who hears.. for you I’ve waited all these years. 
I'm here to make you happy, but I can't promise you that this will last. This is so wrong, but it feels so right to me and I can't let you go. Not just yet. Not before my time is done. Not before I've had my fun. And not before I break your heart. 
Have you broken down, just given up? Got turned around, abandoned hope, and your tired heart gave up the beat, you drop your head in your defeat. And all this pain, and all this fear, things have gotten worse this year. 
Get back on your feet, no more excuses. This is your chance, you don't want to lose this. Keep you head above the water, it will be alright, but don't say these things if you don't mean them. My heart got tired, but it's still beating. If you feel it come on and sing it. 
When we met, you said we were the same, you know that we're different, we're different. And all the times you promised me that everything would work out in the end, you were gravely mistaken. 
Everybody's got their problems. Everybody says the same thing to you. It's just a matter how you solve them and knowing how to change the things you've been through. 
I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, "If this isn't nice, I don't know what is."
Kurt Vonnegut 
“I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.” 
“If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your ego and the internal dialogue. Make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved, and the need to judge. Those are the three things the ego is doing all the time. It's very important to be aware of them every time they come up.” 
“The less you open your heart to others, the more your heart suffers” | | |
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